History Repeating
by Gravity-of-Love26
Summary: Shuichi didn't follow Yuki to New York... instead he focused on his career, but when a tour goes horribly wrong, his life begins spiralling out of control.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all who, hope you like the first chaper of my story.

By the way, the main characters are OOC.

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**Chapter One**

**Shuichi (POV)**

It was six years ago today that Yuki left me to go to New York. I was going to follow him, get him back, do what I usually did whenever Yuki ran, and chase after him. But something stopped me, maybe it was my pride. I think, deep down, I had had enough of Yuki treating me like shit all the time. Even though it broke my heart, I finally did what he had always wanted. I let him have his life back.

It was hard to cope the first year. I guess I was in denial. I wanted to get him back but, like I said, something in me stopped me from doing it. But it was still hard, having to cope on my own. I had never lived on my own before. I stayed at Yuki's apartment, only so I could stay somewhere with his smell, which was on his pillow, and one of his shirts that he left behind. I would sleep on his side of the bed, wearing his shirt.

My health started to suffer. I become anorexic from starving myself. I didn't have the stomach to eat, just smelling food made me want to be sick. I hardly slept, and I began to drink too much and smoke. I guess after inhaling Yuki's second hand smoke it was not surprising that I was craving a cigarette when he wasn't around me, smoking. I was seriously heading into a downward spiral, and I couldn't get myself out of it.

I wouldn't listen to Hiro, or Ryuichi. They tried to help, but I wouldn't let them. I guess, deep down, I wanted to die. I lost the will to live, also the will to sing. I lost my inspiration. It's funny, when I look back, the only person who managed to get through to me was the person who had always hated me, and I hated him for always butting into my relationship with Yuki.

But if it wasn't for him, I probably would have killed myself. It was all thanks to Tohma. He saved me. He got me talking about how I was feeling, he let me cry on his shoulder, which I did a lot, and he finally got me out of Yuki's apartment. He helped me find my own, just a small place not far from NG.

He also got made me admit myself into a private hospital to overcome my eating disorder. It was the hardest thing I had to do, but it worth it in the end. I could finally eat, and I was putting on the weight I had lost.

When I was allowed to go home, Tohma was the one to be there for me. I hadn't realised until he picked me up that I had come to rely on him. I needed him. He had become a good friend to me. I knew Hiro was feeling left out, he was still my best friend but I found I couldn't share this with him, maybe it was because he had always hated Yuki. With Tohma, he understands, he after all loves Yuki. He actually told me he only loves him as a brother, which probably helped, because I would have pushed him away otherwise.

I found getting on with my life easier than I thought it would be. I knew I would never be the same as I once was. I had changed, sometimes I like my new personality, but sometimes it just sucks. But at least I'm living. Tohma helped me with everything, he even taught me how to cook. It was fun. I had to pay to have my kitchen re-done a few times, but it was just another thing to help me go on.

Three years after Yuki had been gone, my life went down hill once again. Tohma got Hiro, Fujisaki, and I a tour in America, a long tour. We were going to be there for maybe a year, so he hired a tutor to give me English lessons. Tohma assured me the guy he had hired was one of the best. He was a man called Quinn, and he was one of Tohma's friends.

Quinn was a nice guy. Well, he was to begin with. He was a nice looking man a few years older than me. He taught me English, and it was surprising how well I picked up on the language. Usually I'm really thick when it comes to learning. The tour started and it was great, it kept my mind occupied.

Tohma brought Ryuichi and Noriko over halfway through the tour, and we did a few joint concerts. Quinn and I were getting closer, but I didn't want another relationship, I knew I couldn't handle getting my heart broken again. Maybe deep down I didn't want anyone to replace Yuki in my heart, because he was still in there, and probably will be in there forever.

But Quinn wouldn't take no for an answer. I don't know how it happened, but I was having dinner with Quinn at his apartment, when he tried coming on to me. I pushed him away, but he used his strength to overpower me.

He had me on the floor, hands pinned above my head and his other hand peeling my pants from my body before I could blink. I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. As he raped me, I couldn't help but think of how Taki had hired those guys to rape me. I was weak then, and I was weak again, unable to stop him.

Tears leaked from my eyes as Quinn violated my body. I could feel blood tricking down my legs, and I could hear Quinn's laughter as I once again tried fighting him. Once he released his seed into me, he stood up and looked down at me, his eyes gleaming with smugness.

He stood over me, and lit a cigarette. He started talking about how good a fuck I was, and how he was going to have me again. I knew I couldn't let him do it again.

I don't know what happened but something in me snapped. I jumped to my feet and grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a marble statue of a horse. I gripped it and charged at him, swinging the statue and hit him over the head. He went down hard, but I didn't stop, I kept hitting him, over and over.

I don't think I would have stopped, but I felt arms pull me back. I stumbled to my knees, and dropped the statue, just registering what I had done. I looked at my hands, which were covered in blood. His blood.

As I continued to stare at my shaking hands, I heard talking, but I couldn't make out what was being said. I was in shock, I couldn't believe what I had done. I looked at Quinn, who was laying still on the floor, his head a bloody mess.

I finally looked up and my eyes met Tohma's. He actually had tears in his eyes. He turned around and went over to Quinn, pressing his fingers against his neck. When Tohma's shoulders sagged and he dropped his head, I knew Quinn was dead and that I had killed him.

When I started to cry, Tohma was right beside me, holding me, allowing me to cry on his shoulder. Just like I had done many times before, but it was different this time.

Tohma sorted everything out. I don't actually know what he did, I was still in shock, but he made Quinn's body disappear and any evidence that I had been there also vanished. Tohma led me out of Quinn's apartment, and back to the hotel.

After that, like I said, my life went down hill. I became what Yuki is, a cold hearted bastard. I dyed my hair a midnight blue colour, I didn't want to look like that pink-haired baka anymore. I stopped wearing colourful clothing, mostly wearing black.

I became more quiet, never smiling or bouncing around. Hiro and the others knew something had happened, but I haven't told them, only Tohma knows the whole story. He has been more than supportive, and I'm thankful to him. Without him, I don't think I would get out of bed in the morning.

I have a better understanding about what Yuki went through, I'm just like him now. A murderer. I understand why he shut himself off of everything and everyone. Someone he admired betrayed him, just like Quinn betrayed me. I don't hate him anymore for leaving me, I understand. He couldn't deal with his regret. Sometimes I feel like running away, but I'm not as strong as Yuki.

But I understand why he can't stand having anyone in his life, I can't either. Well, except for Tohma. I need him, he is my only anchor and he keeps me sane. Since the incident in America, I began sleeping around. I became a cheap Eiri Yuki knock off, I fuck anything that walks. I think it's because I don't want to trust anyone, I can't let them into my heart.

Tohma doesn't like it, but he'll get over it. Anyway, as I was saying, today's the day, six years ago, that Yuki left me. I don't know why, but it's like a tradition. I go to the park where I first met Yuki, sit on a bench and just think about him, what it would have been like if he hadn't had left me.

Would we still be together? Or were we destined to always be apart. I sigh. Why do I always do this to myself? As I head home to my fridge full of beer to get drunk, another tradition, I notice a young guy following me. He looks only about 18 years old, cute and short. He has dark red hair and beautiful green eyes.

I smile to myself, hopefully I won't be going home alone. I stop and look at him, giving him my come here smile. He blushes and walks towards me. I put my arm around his shoulders and take him back to my place.

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Thanks for reading and please review to let me know what you think. Chapter two will be up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to Duble L's Honey, and Luciver for reviewing. This chapter is for you guys, hope you like.

I do not own Gravitation.

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**Chapter Two**

**Tohma (POV)**

I sigh to myself as I sit in my chair in my office at NG. My mind strays to Shuichi. I know it's been six years today that Yuki left him, which means he will go to the park, then he will head back to his place and drink himself into unconsciousness, probably picking up some young man or woman on his way.

I usually go over to sober him up, and throw out whoever he has sleeping in his bed with him. I feel more than nervous today. Eiri called me a week ago, telling me he would be returning to Japan. I have missed him, but I've been wondering if it's a good idea. I know I'm going to have to tread carefully. I don't want to cause Shuichi any more pain, or hurt.

Eiri didn't tell me why he left Japan, and he probably won't ever tell me why, he also enquired about Shuichi. I was silent for so long that he assumed the worst. To be truthful, I had no idea what to say, so I just lied and told Eiri he was fine. I really want to tell him about everything that has happened, but I can't betray Shuichi's trust in me. I didn't tell Shuichi about Eiri's past, and I don't plan on telling Eiri about Shuichi's.

Eiri actually told me he was planning on trying to win Shuichi back. It stunned me into silence, I don't know if it's a good idea. Shuichi has been through so much, I honestly don't know if he can take anymore. Just like Eiri did, Shuichi has shut himself away from everything and everyone. He finds it hard to trust anyone, except me. I don't know why he trusts me, but I know I will never let him down.

Shuichi and I have become really close these past six years, and we've formed a bond. I know he relies on me, and I love him, just like Eiri, in a brotherly way. I've become rather protective towards the younger man.

When I found him three years ago in Quinn's apartment, naked from the waist down, blood dribbling down his legs, it was like I had gone back in time, to when I found Eiri in New York. I was shocked to see Shuichi hitting Quinn over the head. I snapped myself out of my daze and pulled Shuichi back, I watched him carefully as he fell to his knees, holding his shaky, bloody hands in front of his face.

I tried talking to him, but he was in shock. I knew Quinn was dead as I placed my fingers against his neck. His head was cracked open, spilling some of his brains out on to the carpet. I turned my back on his dead body, and took Shuichi in my arms as he started to cry.

When I had gotten him under control, I made a phone call and got everything sorted. I made Quinn's body disappear and cleared all evidence away, so it looked like Shuichi had never been there. Then I got him out of there.

It has been a long three years since it happened, and I've had to watch as Shuichi turned into Eiri. A cold-hearted bastard. The only difference is that Shuichi doesn't push me away like Eiri does. Shuichi needs me. I'm the only one he shows any feelings towards, he hugs me a lot and tells me he loves me. I know it's not that kind of love, it's a brotherly love.

I don't know why I'm the only one he trusts, Shuichi has cut himself off of his friends. I know it's because Hiro has Ayaka, and they will be married soon. I know Shuichi hates that women, and to be honest, so do I. I have no idea why I tried to get Eiri to marry her when he first started dating Shuichi.

Looking at my watch, I sigh again, a habit I seem to have picked up. Eiri should be here any

moment, and I have to go over to Shuichi's soon. I fear that one day Shuichi will give himself alcohol poisoning.

A knock on the door has my heart in my throat. I watch as the door opens, and Eiri walks in. He still looks the same, it's like he hasn't aged. But I'm a little more than surprised to see him wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I don't think I've ever seen Eiri in casual clothes before, and he looks good.

I stand up and wonder whether hugging him would be appropriate. I guess it's just become instinct, I always hug Shuichi. Instead I shake his hand, waving for him to take a seat.

For once I'm not sure what to say, I just smile at him.

"How have you been?" I finally ask.

"Okay, you?"

He's still not very talkative. I sigh, great, I can't seem to stop doing that.

"I'm fine." I answer, though by the way he's looking at me, he can tell I'm lying.

Before I can say anything else, the phone rings.

"Yes." I answer, not how I usually answer, but it will have to do.

It's Rei, the man I have follow Shuichi. I know it's not right having Shuichi followed, but I worry about him. Apparently Shuichi went to the park earlier than usual and he's taken a young man home with him.

"Please tell me the man wasn't under-aged? That would be all we need, Shuichi's name plastered in the paper for sleeping with a child."

Shit, I can't believe I said his name out loud. I saw Eiri jump out of the corner of my eye. Oh well, I guess I have some explaining to do.

"Thank you for calling, I'll be heading over to his place soon. You might as well go home, Shuichi will have drunk himself into unconsciousness by now."

I put the phone down, and close my eyes for a moment, steeling myself. When I make eye contact with Eiri, he looks just how I suspected.

"What's going on with Shuichi? When I called you said he was all right."

"I'm sorry Eiri, but I can't tell you. I never told Shuichi about your past, if Shuichi wants to tell you his, he will. Now if you'll excuse me I have to head to the store, then go and see Shuichi."

Eiri stands up too.

"I'm coming, I want to see him."

Truthfully I don't think that's a good idea, but I'm too exhausted to argue. And arguing with Eiri is futile, the man always wins.

Together we leave NG and get into his car, I feel too tired to drive. We head to the store. I have to buy groceries for Shuichi, I know the man will have an empty fridge, except for beers.

--

When we got to Shuichi's place, I felt Eiri's eyes on me as I opened the door with my own key. I guess I can't blame him for being suspicious. After taking off my shoes and jacket, I step into the front room and, you guessed it, sighed.

The place was a mess, beer cans and overflowing ashtrays scattered throughout the room. The curtains were closed and it made the room look like a cave.

Walking over the windows, I open the curtains and the balcony door to get some fresh air in here. As I'm heading into the kitchen, the bedroom door opens and a short young man walks into the front room. He smiles at us, and hobbles over to his shoes. As he bends down, I see him wince, but he has a dreamy expression on his face. He stands up and heads out the front door.

Once again Eiri's eyes are on me, but I can't look at him. What can I say? This is what you have done to him because you left him? I can't exactly tell him that Shuichi has turned into him, I feel apprehensive for when Eiri sees what Shuichi has become. I go into the kitchen and put the groceries away and start the coffeemaker. I then take a garbage bag and start cleaning the front room.

"Tohma, what the hell is going on?" Eiri asks me.

"Like I said, I can't tell you. Just please, stop asking me." I snap.

I don't look at him. I go into Shuichi's bedroom and wake up the drunk. He whines and tells me to 'fuck off'. I know he doesn't mean it, he always says it. I guess it's just another tradition. I ignore him, and drag him out of bed. He's already wearing pyjama pants, so I put on t-shirt on him and help him into the front room and sit him on the couch.

I watch as his eyes meet Eiri's and I'm surprised. Shuichi doesn't do anything. It's like he doesn't care. He turns his eyes to me and glares, I guess he thinks this is my doing. I just shake my head and go into the kitchen to make his coffee.

After a few moments, he calls my name. I smile as he whines. I know what he wants. Picking up the packet from the table, I pick up his mug and place it in front of him, and then hand him his cigarettes. I don't agree with him smoking, but it's useless to argue with him.

He smiles at me as he lights one.

"I love you Tohma." He slurs.

"I love you too, Shuichi." I say, patting him on the head.

I find Eiri glaring at me, which I return. Shuichi's laughter snaps us out of our glaring competition. It's good to see the old Shuichi back, unfortunately the only way to see him is when he is drunk.

I look at Shuichi to see his eyes shining with amusement, I just shake my head and sit down.

--

After three cups of coffee, a cold shower and two aspirin, Shuichi is more or less sober, and the change in him is always disconcerting. He's changed back to his moody, cold-hearted bastard mode. His eyes look dead and he's glaring at everything and anything.

He's looked at Eiri a few times, but he hasn't spoken a word to him. I don't really know what to make of it, and Eiri actually looks uncomfortable.

When I feel Shuichi's hand take mine, I squeeze his hand softly. I know he's having trouble dealing with his emotions, I can tell by looking at his face.

"How about I make dinner?" I ask.

He just shrugs, like he usually does. I nod and go into the kitchen, Eiri following me. He glares at me and I know what's going to come next.

"Are you and Shuichi together?" He asks, and I'm surprised at how calm his voice is.

"No Eiri, we're not together. If you had paid attention when you called me, you would know I am still married to your sister…it's complicated. I can't tell you. If Shuichi wants to tell you he will. And if your serious about getting him back, be patient."

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Thanks for reading, and please review to let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to those who reviewed, here's chapter three just for you.

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**Chapter Three**

**Yuki (POV)**

Well, I guess I have a lot of explaining to do, don't I? So…I'll start from the beginning.

Six years ago today, actually, Shuichi and I were at the amusement park, on our date. It was Shuichi's reward for selling a million copies. It was all K's idea, but we had fun. Shuichi's eyes never stopped glowing as we went on all the rides, and had our picture taken together. He was so happy that day, but then I had to go and ruin it. I told Shuichi about my past.

He took it better than I expected. When he went to get us some drinks, I left him. I don't know what I was thinking, but I knew I had to get away. I felt so guilty and ashamed for leaving Shuichi, I never wanted to hurt him. He deserved so much, but I was too afraid to give it to him. I don't know what was wrong with me. We had just had the perfect day, and I upped and left him like nothing had happened.

Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself heading towards New York, the place where it happened. As I walked towards the apartment building where the incident happened, a man stumbled and fell in front of me, dropping a gun at my feet. He left, leaving the shiny piece of dangerous metal. I don't know why I picked it up.

To be honest, I don't know if I would have gone through with killing myself as I sat in the abandoned apartment. I sat with my back against the wall, thinking about a lot of things. As I put a cigarette to my lips, I pulled out my lighter, freezing when I caught sight of the print club photo we had taken together. I guess the thing that saved me was Shuichi's face as it flashed through my mind. His big purple eyes, always shining brightly… his cute smile.

I think back then I made up my mind, I was going to go back to him. I had one more place I wanted to go to, then I would go back to Japan.

Tohma found me as I was at Kitazawa's grave, and we talked briefly. I told him I was going back to Shuichi. He wasn't happy, but I didn't give him a chance to try and talk me out of it. I don't know what happened, but I never got around to returning to Japan after leaving the cemetery. I went to a hotel, and I was still there a week later.

I think maybe deep down, I was disappointed that Shuichi didn't come after me. He always chased after me, but because he didn't come, I guess it had an impact on my decision to stay in New York.

And that's where I stayed for the last six years… it was hard. All I wanted was my brat, but pride got in my way, it wouldn't let me go back to him. I didn't want to be vulnerable, so I stayed away. And it was the worst decision I have ever made.

I didn't do much. I found a small apartment, and stayed in most of the time, just writing mostly… getting drunk and not looking after myself. I never went out with other people. I had offers from a lot of women and a few men, but I didn't go with any of them. It would have felt like I was betraying Shuichi.

It was the longest six years of my life. About two months ago, I had finally had enough. I wanted to go home. I want to be surrounded by people I knew, which is unusual because when I was in Japan, I didn't socialise. I knew it was Shuichi I was going back for.

I prayed he hadn't moved on. Everytime I called Tohma, he kept me informed, telling me Shuichi was doing fine. I just wish I could say the same for me. I wasn't doing fine, that was why I going home.

I called Tohma a week before I got on the plane. He was distant, which made me worry. He assured me Shuichi was fine, but he was acting strange, and Tohma doesn't act strange. I was more than worried when I arrived in his office this afternoon.

I watched Tohma carefully, and he seemed agitated. He stood for a moment, before shaking my hand and waving his hand for me to sit down. He didn't look much different from when I saw him last, just a little tired and stressed.

I really hope he wasn't hiding anything from me. Before we could get into a conversation the phone rang, and he answered it in a way I have never heard him answer it before, he's usually very polite on the phone. I guess he has changed in these last six years.

"Please tell me the man wasn't under-aged? That would be all we need, Shuichi's name plastered in the paper for sleeping with a child."

I jumped as Tohma said that. What the hell? What was going on? I was really hoping Shuichi hadn't moved on, but I guess it was just wishful thinking.

"Thank you for calling, I'll be heading over to his place soon. You might as well go home, Shuichi will have drunk himself into unconsciousness by now."

As Tohma put the phone down, I wondered when Shuichi had started drinking, and I also wondered if this was my fault. I was more than worried about the brat. As Tohma met my eyes, I don't know what he saw in them, but I noticed he winced slightly.

"What's going on with Shuichi? When I called you said he was all right." I said.

"I'm sorry Eiri, but I can't tell you. I never told Shuichi about your past, so if Shuichi wants to tell you his, he will. Now if you'll excuse me I have to head to the store, and then go and see Shuichi."

Now why would Tohma be going to see Shuichi? This was all a little weird and I wanted answers. I know I didn't actually deserve them, but I needed them. When Tohma stood up and put his jacket on, I stood up too.

"I'm coming, I want to see him." I say.

He didn't bother to argue with me, he knew he would lose. He also looked to tired to argue.

We left his office and headed out of NG. We went in my car, honestly I didn't think it was a good idea having him drive. He would probably fall asleep at the wheel. We stopped off at the store where Tohma bought some groceries and a carton of cigarettes… strange.

--

When we stopped outside of Shuichi's door, I watched Tohma as he opened the door with his own key. I wondered again what was going on. After taking off our shoes, we step into the front room, which looked like a tip, with beer cans strewn across the floor.

Tohma sighed as he walked over to the window and opened the curtains, and then the balcony doors. As Tohma walked towards the kitchen, a door opened and a young red headed guy walks, well hobbles, out and smiles at us. I want more than anything to hit him. Tohma and I watch as he put his shoes on, then leaves. Once again, I look at Tohma, wanting to know what's going on, but he doesn't answer me.

I just stand there and watch as Tohma cleans the place up. I can't take it anymore, I take a few steps towards my brother-in-law.

"Tohma, what the hell is going on?"

"Like I said, I can't tell you. Just please stop asking me." I raise my eyebrows as he snaps.

I watch him as he opens the door the young man come out of, and I feel my heart beat hard against my chest as I hear Shuichi telling Tohma to fuck off. A moment later, Tohma walks out supporting Shuichi, and settling him on the couch.

Shuichi looks good, his midnight blue hair suits him, and he looks more grown up. He'd lost his childlike look. When he makes eye contact with me, he does nothing. I find it uncomfortable as he just looks at me.

He breaks eye contact, and looks at Tohma, who shakes his head, and walks into the kitchen. Once again I really want to know what's going on. I sit down, and just look at the brat, but he's ignoring me.

I want him to talk to me, but I'm afraid about what he might say. Suddenly he frowns as he looks around, his hand running along the back of the couch. He lifts a couple of magazines up, and groans. I want to ask him what's wrong, but once again, I'm afraid of the answer.

He slumps back against the couch, his head falling back. He looks at me like he wants to ask me something, instead he turns his head towards the kitchen.

"Tohma." He whines.

Tohma walks back in with a cup of coffee which he places on the table in front of Shuichi, he then gives him a pack of cigarettes. I'm surprised as Shuichi lights one.

"I love you, Tohma." He slurs.

"I love you too, Shuichi." Tohma says, patting him on the head.

I swallow the lump in my throat, I really hope that wasn't what I think. They better not be lovers. Tohma looks at me and I glare at him, so he glares back. Shuichi's laughter snaps us out of it. The look on Tohma's face surprises me, it's a mixture of happiness, sadness and longing.

--

I can't believe how speechless I feel, just sitting here in Shuichi's front room, watching as Tohma sobers him up. The transformation was actually very disconcerting. One minute Shuichi was like he usually was. Happy, annoying, and whiny. But now he looks annoyed, he's glaring at everything, and his eyes have that dead look that mine have. It's like he's a completely different person, someone I don't know. Well…I guess I don't know him anymore. I know something has happened and I hate being out of the loop.

I watch as Shuichi and Tohma sit close together on the couch. When Shuichi takes Tohma's hand, I glare at my brother-in-law. Switching my gaze to Shuichi, I watch as a mixture of emotions flicker across his face, it looks like he's having trouble with something.

"How about I make dinner?" Tohma asks.

Shuichi just shrugs, Tohma nods his head and gets off the couch and walks into the kitchen. I sit for a moment, before following him into the kitchen.

"Are you and Shuichi together?" I ask, trying to keep myself calm, I don't want to let Tohma know how afraid I feel.

"No Eiri, we're not together. If you had paid attention when you called me, you would know I am still married to your sister…it's complicated. I can't tell you, if Shuichi wants to tell you he will. And if your serious about getting him back, be patient."

Be patient… he should know most of all, that I am the most impatient person in the world. How can he say that to me? Oh kami-sama, I'm spazzing out. I lean against the wall and watch Tohma cook.

--

After eating in uncomfortable silence, Shuichi looks tired. He rests his head against Tohma's shoulder, and falls asleep.

I once again feel useless as Tohma picks Shuichi up and takes him into his bedroom. He comes back a few moments later, and starts clearing the plates away. I follow him into the kitchen. He looks at me and sighs.

"When you left, Shuichi took it pretty hard. He lost his will to live, and he wouldn't leave your apartment. Hiro told me when he used to go over there, he would see Shuichi laying in your bed, wearing one of your shirts.

"He didn't come to work. He lost his inspiration, and he wouldn't sing. He was slowly spiralling out of control. He drank too much, and he started smoking. He was also starving himself, and he became anorexic. He wouldn't listen to Hiro, or Ryuichi. One night, I went over to see him. He wouldn't listen at first, but I slowly made progress. I don't know what made him listen to me, but I made the most of it. I got him help. I persuaded him to admit himself into a hospital to help with his eating disorder.

"When he was released, he looked better, but he still wouldn't sing. I helped him move out of your apartment, and got him to move into his own. I don't know when he became to depend on me, but he needs me. He still wont talk to Hiro about what happened.

"We developed a bond, and he told me he loved me, but not that way. He told me he loved me like a brother, I told him I felt the same way. So I make sure I'm here for him when he needs me. I even taught him how to cook." He pauses to smile for a moment. "It was fun. He was terrible at the beginning, he had to have his kitchen re-decorated a few times."

He pauses again, and I realise how much I've hurt Shuichi. I don't feel like I did when I first entered this apartment. I feel grateful that Tohma looked after Shuichi. But now that I think about it, it will probably be harder to get Shuichi back into my life. I snap myself out of my daze as Tohma continues.

"After about three years, I got Bad Luck a tour in America. A long tour, where they would be away for a year. I thought it would do Shuichi good to get away for a while. I just wish… anyway, what happened in America is the thing I can't tell you about. When Shuichi's ready, he will tell you. What happened in America was really bad, it turned him into what he is now. He has withdrawn into himself more, all that work I did to help him was lost. He became cold-hearted. He doesn't trust easily anymore, and he won't let anyone into his life, that's why he sleeps around, picking up anything that walks."

I swallow another painful lump in my throat and wonder what happened to him in America. It has to be bad to make him what he is now, and sleeping around just isn't him.

I sigh. This is going to be hard.

--

Thanks for reading, and please review to let me know what you think. Next chapter up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Hope you like this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Shuichi (POV)**

The alarm clock near my ear jolted me out of a deep sleep. I blindly lift my hand and whack the off button, savouring the silence that descends upon the place. I try to go back to sleep, but I suddenly feel sick, my mouth filling up with warm saliva.

Jumping out of bed, I wince as my head pounds. I just about make it to the bathroom, falling to my knees and puking, the toilet filling with blood. I grimace, this has been happening a lot lately. I haven't told anyone. I figure it's just stress, and I seem to be under stress a lot lately.

Standing up, my stomach feeling like it's on fire, I pull the flush, and strip off my clothes, getting into the shower. The warm water wakes me up, soothing my aching muscles.

When I'm dressed and drinking my second cup of coffee, I remember what happened yesterday. I can't believe Yuki's back. I must have seemed like a baka, but I really didn't know how to handle it, I was glad Tohma was there. I know I've become good at concealing my emotions, but last night they played across my face like a television.

I wonder what Yuki thought about Tohma and I being so close. Knowing him, he probably thought we were lovers. But that might be a good thing, hopefully he will stay away from me. Oh kami-sama what am I saying, I know I want to see him again…but I have to be strong, I can't let him into my life again…it's just too hard.

As I walk to NG, my mind wanders to Yuki again. He looked good, it's like he hasn't aged at all. I was more than surprised to see him wearing jeans and a t-shirt, he looked more than hot. I still love him, but I don't know if I can let him into my heart again. I don't think I would survive if my heart was broken again.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about Quinn, about how he betrayed me and how I killed him. At night the dreams are the worst, there's always so much blood. All around me, puddles of warm blood. Blood dripping down my face, filling my mouth. I always wake up screaming most nights. Sometimes I want to go to America, back to where it happened. Maybe it would help me, or screw me up even more.

Stopping suddenly, my hand grips my stomach. The pain seems to be getting worse, always in my stomach, sometimes shooting pains in my side. A copper taste fills my mouth, and a few drops of blood drip on to the pavement.

To be honest, I'm not really that worried. My life's full of shit anyway, what else could go wrong? Spitting out the blood, I breathe through the pain, until it slowly fades, then continue walking. I stop thinking about my past and Yuki. I need to keep my mind on other things, so I think about the song I'm working on. My lyrics have become more depressing. I used to always be able to write happy ones, but when I got my inspiration back, I could only write dark, depressing ones.

It was Tohma who helped me get my inspiration back. He is the one who saved me. I can't tell you how much I owe him. I know I should tell him about all the blood I seem to be coughing up, but I'm already a burden to him. If I need him, he drops whatever he's doing to help me. Mika has been really understanding, and she helps as much as possible, but if I was her, I would be pissed at Tohma for always being here for me. It's my fault that he neglects her, I guess maybe I should try and get myself sorted. Tohma has his own life, I can't expect him to always be there for me, even though he would be, no matter what.

But I know it's going to be hard. I don't want to be alone again. I know Hiro's eager for me to talk to him, but I can't share my secrets with him. I know it's putting a strain on our friendship.

He and Ayaka are having a party tomorrow, they're getting married soon. I know Hiro's making a mistake. He deserves more than what she can give him, she's a bitch. All she cares about is Yuki, and I think she likes me, she always seems to flirt with me when Hiro's not around. I smile evilly, maybe I can finally show Hiro what a slut she is.

I know Fujisaki is in love with Hiro, and Hiro… well, I think he likes Fujisaki, but I know he's afraid. He's in denial, he doesn't want to admit that he's gay. That's why he's marrying that bitch. But hopefully I can do something about that.

With the evil smile still in place, I enter NG and make my way up to Bad Luck's studio.

--

After working for the past eight hours, I feel exhausted. Hiro made me promise to be at his party tomorrow. I know he's just trying to make sure I'm still a part of his life, and I want to be a part of his life. I've been thinking, maybe I should tell him about what happened to me, maybe it would help, unless it makes him afraid of me.

I guess I have to think about it. The only person who would understand is Yuki, he is after all the same as me. But do I want to be vulnerable to him? Why is it when I think to much, the pain flares through my stomach? Maybe it's a sign, telling me something. What? I have no idea.

As I walk home, I detour to the park, and sit on a bench. I don't know why I always come here, am I torturing myself? I can't explain it, but this place pulls me here. I light a cigarette, and feel my stomach protest as I take a drag, but I ignore it.

I feel eyes on me, and before I know it, Yuki is sitting beside me. His familiar smell of cigarettes and his cologne makes my heart accelerate. But I don't allow any emotions to show on my face. After putting out my cigarette, I finally turn to face him, only to find him staring at me intently. The emotion in his eyes is almost overwhelming.

"How are you?" He asks.

Okay, so he wants to have a normal conversation. I can do that, I hope.

"I'm fine…you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine too…" He pauses, looking a little uncomfortable.

I guess this is really hard for him. Like I said before, now that I know what it's like, I don't blame him for leaving like he did. I think maybe I would have done the same.

"You don't have to apologise you know, I understand."

"What?" He asks.

"About leaving me…I understand. I don't blame you."

The relief on his face is more than overwhelming, and if I'm not mistaken there are tears in his eyes. I have an urge to tell him what happened to me. I really want to share it with someone who has been there, someone who will understand, but something is stopping me.

"Shuichi, I…love you."

I freeze at that. What the fuck is he saying? I might have said I don't blame him, but I don't think I can go back to what we had before. Yeah, I still love him, but I don't know if I can let him into my life again.

"Yuki, I may not blame you for leaving me, but I can't forgive you. I don't think telling me you love me is a good idea…" As he opens his mouth to say something, I hold up my hand to stop him. "I expect Tohma told you everything that happened to me while you were gone. Well, everything except what happened in America. He probably told you I wont let anyone into my life, and he's right… I can't let anyone into my life."

I stand up, pain once again flaring to life in my stomach, but I keep my face expressionless. Before walking away, I turn to look at him.

"Do you know…I think I would have preferred for you to cheat on me then leave me. At least then, I would have known where you were."

I walk away, and don't look back. Truthfully, I didn't mean a word of what I said, but I don't want to be vulnerable again. I wish I had the guts. I want more than anything to have him back in my life again. But by saying that to him, hopefully he will stay away from me. As I walk home, I find tears making there way down my cheeks.

--

After my talk with Yuki, I went home and drank through the contents of my fridge. Tohma found me sprawled on the floor, unconscious… that's what he told me anyway. Apparently Yuki had been to see him, and he was rather upset.

That made me feel guilty. I take the mug of coffee from Tohma. He sits next to me, his face clouded with concern.

"You know I didn't mean what I said to him, I do still love him." I say quietly.

"I know." He answers quietly.

"I've been thinking…I want to go back to America."

He looks at me curiously, and frowns.

"Why?"

I shrug. "I don't know, but maybe it would help. It's just something I need to do."

He remains silent for a moment. Before he can say anything, his cell phone rings. I drown out his voice as he speaks with Mika. She has been more than understanding, but, like I said I still feel guilty about taking Tohma away from her at all hours. I have sort my act out. Tohma has his own life, he can't worry about me for the rest of my life.

I turn my head to find him looking at me, and I know he can tell what I'm thinking. We've had this conversation a lot. He always says he doesn't mind, but come on… how much can one person take before they snap?

"Tohma, go home to your wife. I'm fine."

He just nods, and gets up. He knows arguing with me is useless.

"When you want to go to America, let me know. I'll sort it out."

I just smile at him, but I know if I do decide to go, I will do it by myself. I think deep down, I know I won't be coming back. I don't like the way my life has gone, and I can't see it ever getting any better. I think it would be best for everyone if I wasn't here. Plus, the guilt I feel for killing Quinn is eating away at me. I know it's not all my fault, Quinn pushed me into a corner, and I just defended myself. But I should have been able to control my temper. If I would have just hit him once to knock him out, I probably wouldn't be in this situation now.

After drinking the rest of my coffee, I head to bed. Hiro's party is tomorrow. I know what to do. I have to show Hiro that Ayaka's not good enough for him, and that he would be happier with the one he loves.

I have to sort everyone's life out first, before I can leave.

* * *

Thanks for reading, and please review to let me know what you think. 


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, hope you like this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Five **

**Shuichi's (POV)**

Taking one last look in the mirror, I smile. Black leather pants, with a red shirt, mostly opened. My hair tied back in a ponytail… I guess I should get it cut. Slipping on my leather jacket, I was ready to go.

As soon as I left my apartment building, Tohma's limo stopped next to me and I got in. Tohma smiled at me, and Yuki…well, he tried not to look at me. He looked like shit, and I guess it's my fault. I _do_ feel guilty about what I said to him.

Maybe…no don't even think about it! Too late… I _do_ want him more than anything. But first thing's first.

Operation - Ayaka smack down.

I feel an evil smile cross my face.

"Shuichi, what…"

I look at Tohma, and just shake my head. Can't spoil the surprise. He will just have to wait and see.

--

The party was being held at a posh hotel. We made our entrance and, as I expected, Ayaka's eyes flickered from Yuki to me, and back again. I don't think anyone else noticed, ah…someone did notice. Fujisaki is glaring at her.

I think I need help. I head straight over to him, and lay down my plan. It didn't surprise me that he agreed to my plan, his eyes flickering with amusement.

"So…as soon as you see her follow me, make sure Hiro's with you."

I head off to get a drink. As predicted Ayaka joined me, so I gave her a triple JD and a splash of coke. We clink glasses and down our drinks in one. She coughs slightly, but she smiles at me. I guess she thinks she looks seductive, but she just looks like what she is… a fucking whore.

I make her down a few more drinks, before excusing myself. I talk to Hiro for a while, making sure he's all right. He asks me if I'm all right... I know what he means. He wants to know if Yuki and I will be getting back together.

I decide to tell him the truth. I want him a part of my life again.

"I don't know Hiro. I said some horrible things to him, things I didn't mean…I still love him, more than anything, but I'm afraid to let him in my heart again. I don't think I can handle it to be broken again."

Hiro puts his hand on my shoulder, and for the first time in a long while, we hug. I can't tell you how much I've missed Hiro's hugs. I smile at him as we pull away. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Yuki looking at me, and curse. He's close enough to have heard what I said. I just hope he didn't, but the way he's looking at me tells me he heard every single word. Damn. Excusing myself, I make sure no one's looking at me, then look at Ayaka.

I'm lucky that she takes that moment to look at me, I wink at her and leave the room. Just as I expected, she follows me a moment later. I lean against the wall as she stumbles towards me. I just hope Fujisaki saw her follow me.

"Soooo Shu-chan, fancy a quick fuck? I know you want me, I've wanted you for a while now…"

It makes me sick just listening to her. But it's all for a good cause.

"Ayaka, you're marrying my best friend. Do you really think I would betray him? And to be honest, you're not my type."

"Awww come on, you know you want me! Hiro will never know… he is a little dense at times. Truthfully, Yuki-san is the one I want… I want you too, but I'm stuck with third best."

She lunges at me, but I step away, and she falls to a drunken heap on the floor. Movement out of the corner of my eye makes me turn to see Hiro and Fujisaki watching us. Hiro looks a little relieved and angry, Fujisaki looks smug.

I walk away from Ayaka, place my hand on Hiro's shoulder and walk back into the room. Fighting the grin that wants to spread across my face, I walk over to the drinks table and mix a JD and coke.

Hiro returns, with Fujisaki behind him. The latter looks at me and smiles, I just wink at him. All we have to do is wait, and hope for the best.

A few moments later Ayaka walks back into the room with as much dignity as she can muster, but truthfully, she looks a mess. Her hair is standing on end, and her dress is rumpled. She looks like she's just come home from a all night drinking session.

I watch people look at Ayaka in disgust as she wobbles about. I can't believe how mush she has changed, she used to be such a sweet, quiet girl. But now…well she's this…this…whatever you want to call her.

I hold my breath as Hiro walks over to the stereo and turns off the music. When he has everyone's attention, he begins to talk.

"First of all, I want to thank you all for coming…but I'm afraid I have some bad news. Ayaka, will you come here please?"

She stumbles her way over to Hiro, and frowns. At least his words have penetrated her drunken mind.

"Ayaka, I think we should break up." The silence in the room is almost thick enough to choke on.

I'm fighting the laughter bubbling in my throat at the look on her face. Curious whispers spread through the room. Ayaka just stands there, trying to keep her balance as she shakes in anger, her face turning red.

"I saw you try to hit on my best friend. And if I'm only third best, then that's a good enough reason to call off this wedding…there is another reason. I don't love you, and I never have. I think I've been scared to show the person I love how much I feel about him." He pauses and Fujisaki looks at me, I nod my head and wink. He smiles, blushing. "Fujisaki, will you come here please?"

Ayaka seems to be rooted to the spot, her face burning redder than a fire engine. She looks mortified. Fujisaki stops beside Hiro, looking up at him. I hold my breath, and hope he's going to do what he should have done a long time ago.

"I love you." Hiro says, before pulling the shorter man into his arms and kissing him.

Ayaka screams, literally. I cover my ears, along with everyone else. She sounds like one of those old tea kettles. You know, the ones you put on the stove and it whistles when it's boiled. She stumbles, and falls to the floor. Kneeling on the ground, she throws a major tantrum, banging her hands on the floor, still screaming. I swear she's going to burst my ear drums.

"How can you do this to me? You can not dump me, no one dumps me!"

Hiro and Fujisaki weren't paying any attention to her… neither was anyone else, they seemed to be watching the kissing couple.

When they break apart, they smile at each other. A shriek grabs our attention as Ayaka stumbles to her feet and totters over to Yuki. His face is an unreadable mask. She leers at him.

"Hey, Yuki-san…wanna fuck me?" Oh kami-sama, she is really drunk. Her parents look like they're about to explode with shame.

"I'm sorry Ayaka…but you're not my type."

She has tears in her eyes. Her head whips around the room, and her eyes gleam as she spots me. I brace myself as she stumbles over to me.

"So Shu-chan, now Hiro's dumped me, you don't have to feel guilty. You want me don't you?" I think this is her last desperate attempt to get some attention.

I look at her… I have one more blow and hopefully we will never see her ugly mug again. I place my hand on her face. I hear gasps as people think I'm going to kiss her.

"Ayaka, what happened to your last boyfriend? The one you went out with before Hiro... what happened to him?"

She looks confused, and she blushes as she answers.

"We only went out for a few months, then he came out of the closet. He was gay."

"Well…doesn't that tell you something. You go out with guys and they always seem to turn gay… I think you're cursed." I hear a few people laughing. "Sorry kid, it's not worth us dating, I'm already gay."

I walk away from her. Her parents finally snap out of their daze and practically drag her out of the room screaming.

I feel eyes on me as I'm pouring myself a drink. I look round to see Tohma and Yuki watching me… I gave them my most innocent smile. Tohma's fighting not to laugh, and Yuki actually cracks a smile. I guess my innocent smile wasn't so innocent. Fujisaki also looks at me, mouthing a 'thank you'.

I'm glad I could make two people happy. I just wish I could make myself happy. Sometimes I think I'm not destined to be happy… I look at my drink, and stare into the dark liquid.

I down it in one, and immediately gasp. Dropping my glass, I double over as pain flares through me. Oh kami-sama, it's really bad. Blood pours out of my mouth like a faucet, staining the white carpet.

"Shuichi!" Tohma calls, worriedly.

Someone's arms go around me, but the pain is so intense. My eyes blur and blackness overtakes me. I slip and fall, feeling nothing.

* * *

Thanks for reading, and please review to let me know what you think. 


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, sorry this chapter is late. Hope you like.

I do not own Gravitation.

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**Yuki (POV)**

After speaking to Shuichi yesterday, I went straight to Tohma. I always seem to turn to him when I need someone to talk to. I told him what Shuichi said. He just closed his eyes and sighed. He then told me that Shuichi just needed time, time for what? He seemed pretty clear as to what he wanted from me. Which was basically…nothing. He didn't want me anymore.

After talking for a while, I went back to my apartment and got drunk. I guess I shouldn't have told Shuichi I loved him, maybe it was too soon. I've never been one for patience. I think maybe deep down I was hoping Shuichi would fall into my arms, telling me he loved me too. That's what the old Shuichi would have done. But the old Shuichi isn't there anymore, he's someone I don't recognise.

I can't believe how much I seem to always fuck up my life. I keep asking myself, if it was worth leaving six years ago. The answer is no. I wish I would have stayed. I would still be with Shuichi, and I would be happy. Well…I would be happy, I don't know if I would have showed it though.

Back then, I had trouble showing my feelings, but I've had six years to change. So, in a way, it was worth leaving. It made me change, but it may have cost me Shuichi. I wont give up though, I can't. I need Shuichi in my life.

I woke up the next day to the phone ringing. It was Tohma. He invited me to Hiro's party. I only agreed to go because Shuichi would be there. I guess I wanted another chance to talk to him.

I spent the day moping, trying to think of a way to get Shuichi to forgive me.

--

Tohma picked me up in his limo about 7pm, and we then went to pick Shuichi up. He looked unbelievable sexy, but I tried not to look at him. I didn't want to give him another reason to be annoyed with me.

As we drove to the hotel where the party was being held, I couldn't help but glance at him. It almost got too much, and I was relived when we arrived. As we walked in, I noticed the way Ayaka looked at me, then her eyes flickered to Shuichi. Her expression puzzled me. I watched as Shuichi went over to talk to Fujisaki, then over to the drinks table.

Ayaka followed him, and he poured her a drink. I looked at Tohma, and he was also watching with a weird look on his face. He suddenly turned towards me and smiled. He then went over to the table and brought us back some drinks, he then excused himself to talk to Mika.

I walked around, stopping near Shuichi as he talked to Hiro. What he said nearly had me running over to him, begging him to give me another chance. I can't tell you how relieved I feel to know he still loves me. But I can understand his reluctance, he's afraid of getting hurt again.

I saw him look at me, and I knew he was wondering if I had heard him. I guess the look on my face told him that I had indeed heard what he said.

I watch as he excuses himself and turn his head to Ayaka. I don't know what he did, because his back was to me, but he left the room. I was about to follow when Ayaka beat me to it. I frowned, wondering what was going on.

Tohma walked over to me, and we watched as Fujisaki steered Hiro out of the room. Whatever Hiro saw brought him to a stand-still. I really hoped it wasn't what I think it was. A few moments later, Shuichi came into view. He place his hand on Hiro's shoulder and walked towards the table and got a drink.

Tohma and I watched as Hiro and Fujisaki walked back into the room. Ayaka followed shortly, looking like a dishevelled mess. People were throwing disgusted glances her way. When Hiro turned the stereo off, and told Ayaka it was over between them, I looked over to Shuichi, and I knew he was trying not to laugh.

It then hit me that he had done this. Her tantrum was nothing I had ever seen before. I think I would have laughed if I hadn't been so shocked. I barely held back my disgust as she hit on me. I could tell she was losing it.

I clenched my teeth as she tottered over to Shuichi. I held my breath, along with everyone else. It looked like he was going to kiss her. But what he said to her, well it was beyond funny. People were snickering as Shuichi walked away from her.

I think Ayaka was about to attack someone, but her parents took the opportunity to drag her out of the room. I really hoped that would be the last time we saw her. I think she deserved everything she got. I looked at Tohma to see him looking at Shuichi.

Shuichi turns to look at us, giving us his most 'innocent' smile. It was so obvious that he had planned this. He downed his drink. I frowned when he dropped his glass and he doubled over, holding his stomach.

I ran over to him as Tohma called his name. I was shocked to see how much blood poured out of his mouth. I caught him as he passed out, holding him bridal style as Tohma whipped out his cell phone, telling his limo driver to meet us at the entrance.

We walked out and got into his car, Hiro and Fujisaki piling in with us. I didn't pay attention, all I cared about was Shuichi. As he lay in my arms, I took a good look at him. His face was pale, the black circles under his eyes looked like bruises.

His body felt so light in my arms. I looked up at Tohma, and he looked as worried as I did. He shook his head, answering my silent question. He didn't know what was wrong with Shuichi. Tohma actually looked a little angry. I guess Shuichi has been keeping this from him.

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, a couple of nurses told me to place Shuichi on a stretcher. They then told us to wait in the waiting room, and wait for the doctor to come and speak to us.

We all went into the waiting room to wait. I hate waiting… I was getting more and more worried as each minute passed.

It felt like hours had passed before the doctor came to see us. He was a tall man with grey hair, and he looked exhausted.

"Mr Shindou has a bleeding ulcer. He told me he has been coughing up blood for the past couple of weeks. He hasn't been taking care of himself, and he's drinking and smoking too much. We've given him medication, and I will write him out a prescription, but he has to start taking better care of himself."

"Can we see him?" Tohma asks.

The doctor nods, motioning us to follow him.

"We've given him a sedative, so he will be groggy. Please only stay for a few minutes, he needs his rest." The doctor said.

We thank him and enter the room. Shuichi is laying in a bed by the window, hooked up to an IV. Tohma's immediately by his side, holding his hand and stroking his hair. I fight my jealousy that is rising. I know Tohma's worried about him, but so are we.

Shuichi's eyes fluttered open, and he blearily looked at Tohma.

"What didn't you tell me Shuichi?" He asked.

Shuichi closed his eyes for a moment, and sighed.

"Tohma, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. You've done so much for me these past six years, I know I've been a burden to you…"

Tohma held a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"Shuichi, you haven't been a burden. You've become a dear friend to me, and I love you. I want to be here for you. I want to help you."

Shuichi starts to cry, and Tohma pulls him into his arms. I feel guilty and really jealous, and one look at Hiro tells me he feels the same. It's so strange, watching them together. They used to hate each other, but now it's like their best friends.

But I know it's because of whatever happened in America. And I know Tohma's the only one who knows what happened. I really hope he tells me soon… I want to be able to help him.

Tohma pulls away and kisses his forehead. He walks out of the room, and Hiro and Fujisaki follow him. I walk over to the bed and he smiles at me.

"Yuki, before I fall asleep, I want to tell you I'm sorry for what I said. And…do you want to go out on a date with me?"

I look at him in shock, feeling light-headed and giddy like a school kid about to go on his first date.

"I'd love to Shuichi."

He smiles, and then closes his eyes and a few moments later, he's fallen asleep. I run my fingers through his hair, and kiss his cheek.

I leave, feeling like I'm walking on air. Tohma, Hiro, and Fujisaki are already in the limo waiting for me. Hiro looks like he's been crying, and Fujisaki is holding his hand. Tohma looks at me and it's like he knows. He smiles at me, which I return. I feel happy, for the first time in six years. I hope I can make it right.

We take Hiro and Fujisaki home first, then Tohma grills me about what happened. I tell him. And it's weird, we've never talked about stuff like this before, and it makes it feel more real. Before it felt like a dream.

Tohma then tells me to be careful, making sure I don't hurt Shuichi. Again it's weird. Tohma always used to try to keep me away from Shuichi, but now it's like he's giving me his blessing.

--

The next day, I made sure I got up early. I wanted to pick Shuichi up from the hospital with Tohma. We arrived at about 10am. While Tohma signed the release forms, I went into Shuichi's room, to find him already dressed and sitting on the bed, his feet dangling.

Kami-sama, he looked so cute. I walked over to him, and he turned to me and smiled slightly. I really hoped he remembered what he said yesterday. I guess he knew what I was thinking, because he took my hand and pulled me closer.

His lips on mine sent shockwaves through my body. I moaned against his mouth, his soft sweet lips holding me captive. We broke apart when someone coughed. We looked round to see Tohma standing in the doorway, trying not to laugh.

Shuichi hopped off the bed, wincing slightly. He stalked out of the room, and led the way. It was weird, the change in his attitude was instantaneous. For a moment he was like his old self, and now he's cold.

I guess this is how he felt when I was like this. I was a first rate cold bastard after all.

When the limo pulled up outside Shuichi's apartment, Tohma and I were about to follow, but Shuichi stopped us.

"Please, I need to do this on my own. Tohma, go home and be with Mika, you've done more than enough." He paused to lean over and kiss Tohma on the cheek. "Yuki, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7pm." He leans over and kisses my cheek.

We watch as he gets out of the car and disappears into his apartment. Tohma looks unsure, but he just sighs and calls to his driver to continue. I guess I also feel worried.

--

Thanks for reading and please review. Next chapter coming soon.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, I don't have any excuses as to why this is so late. I actually forgot about this story, but found it as I was going through all my saved documents. I have finished this story, I just need to type it out. Hope you like chapter 7. Oh and thanks to everyone who reviewed.

**Diclaimer - Gravitation is not mine, I do not own it.**

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* * *

****Chapter Seven**

**Shuichi (POV)**

I knew someone was going to happen, after completely humiliating Ayaka, which couldn't have gone better. It was totally kick ass, and she finally got what she deserved. But then the night went down hill, as I swallowed my drink, the pain was so intense, I'm not surprised I passed out.

When I woke up in the hospital, the doctor wasn't very happy with me. He could tell I hadn't been looking after myself. He told me I had a ulcer, and it was bad. No wonder I was in so much pain.

He gave me a sedative which made me feel a bit loopy. To be honest the sensation was horrible. I didn't like it and I wanted to go home. I remember falling asleep, then someone took my hand and brushed my hair.

I opened my eyes to see Tohma's concerned and angry face looking down at me, I knew what was going to come next.

I couldn't help crying, I had made such a mess of my life. Tohma hugging me felt so good. His hugs are nearly as good as Hiro's.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered into my ear, before kissing my forehead and leaving the room.

I saw Hiro leave with Fujisaki, he looked more than upset. It made me feel even more guiltier. I have to tell him what happened. If he can't handle it, then it would decide if our friendship had a future. But first I had to tell Yuki.

I looked him in the eyes as he walked towards me. I could feel myself falling to sleep, so I asked him if he wanted to go on a date, when he said yes, I let myself fall asleep. I vaguely felt him kiss my cheek and run his fingers through my hair.

--

After being dropped off by Tohma, I stepped into my apartment, and immediately lit a cigarette. I know I shouldn't be smoking, but I don't give a shit. I have a lot to do. Picking up the phone I book a ticket to America for the day after tomorrow.

After a shower and a change of clothes, I head to NG. Tohma told me he was giving Bad Luck a few days off, which was fine. I had a song I needed to do, and if possible I had to keep it a secret. I racked my brains for a gift I could get Tohma. But what do you get the man who has everything? So I decided to write and sing a song for him.

Then tomorrow I'm going on a date with Yuki, I plan on telling him what happened in America. And even though he left me on our date six years ago, I don't think I can that mean.

Anyway as I entered Bad Lucks studio, I was glad to find it empty. I had to sing the lyrics, then add the music, it was going to be a long day.

--

When I finally got home, I felt exhausted, and my stomach was in pain. I took my medication and picked up the phone, booking a table at my favourite restaurant. After a moments thought, I picked the phone up again, and called Tohma, asking him if I can borrow his limo for tomorrow. He of course agreed. I sometimes wonder if there is anything he wouldn't do for me.

Making sure I ate dinner, I had a few beers and smoked a cigarette. Then I fell into bed.

--

I woke even more tired than I did when I went to bed. After a shower and a few cups of coffee, I sit on the couch. I have to write Tohma a letter, I know the CD I made for him says what I need to say, but he deserves an explanation.

Damn, what can I say. Thanks, but I can't take it anymore, so I decided to kill myself. Then there's Yuki, I love him more than anything. I know he has already been through what I have, and he's still strong, yeah, he's got his demons, but he can still live.

I can't, the guilt is getting to me, everyday is a struggle. I really can't do this anymore. Even with Tohma's help, I feel my life once again spiralling out of control. I haven't been looking after myself, I don't eat properly, unless Tohma's here to cook for me. I smoke and drink too much.

It's like even though I have everything I want. Friends, family, a record deal. A man who I love more than anything, I have it all, but it's not enough, or it is enough, but the guilt I have growing inside of me overrides everything.

I sigh, I might as well go back to bed. I have a date tonight with Yuki. Then I have to be at the airport tomorrow morning, I'm also wondering whether to invite Yuki round to stay for the night. Even though I've been sleeping around, I've never allowed anyone to top me.

I'm wondering whether I can trust Yuki to make love to me.

--

At 7pm, I knock on Yuki's door, and he answers it, smiling at me. He looks good, wearing black pants and a dark green shirt. I give him the biggest smile I can, which isn't that good actually, but at least it's something.

"Ready?" I ask.

He nods and closes the door, we hold hands and walk out of the building, and get into the limo. It feels surreal, us sitting here like this. Do you know that feeling where everything feels like a dream, like your not really here, well…that's how I feel now.

"So where are we going?" Yuki asks.

"I thought we'd go for something to eat first. Is that alright?" I look at him, and for the first time in a long time, I feel unsure.

When he smiles, I feel a little of the tension drain away. I guess I'm nervous because I'm planning to tell him about what happened to me in America.

"That's fine."

When the limo stops, we get out and enter my favourite restaurant Kaiji. It's a beautiful, romantic place. The head waiter greets us, and I smile. After inquiring how I am, escorts us to a secluded corner, surrounded by elegant screens.

We sit opposite each other, the candle light making Yuki's hair glow. I look into his eyes and we smiles at each other. His eyes widened slightly as I gave him an actual smile.

We order and talk about little things. About his latest novel, and the album we're working on. It still seems unreal, we never used to talk like this. Maybe it's because I've grown, I can now talk about grown up things, instead of talking a mile a minute. Kami-sama how I must have pissed him off when I talked like that.

After a wonderful dinner, which I insisted on paying for, we left the restaurant and got back into the limo. The driver stopped at the park, and we got out.

We walked to the place where we first met, and sat on a bench. I closed my eyes for a second, and took a deep breath, okay here goes.

Opening my eyes, I reach into my pocket and take out my wallet. I slip the photograph out. I hand it to Yuki.

It was taken six months after Hiro, Fujisaki and I had arrived in America. The three of us were sat down, with Quinn stood behind us.

Yuki looks at me with a question in his eyes.

"That guy behind us, his name was Quinn. He was my English tutor. At first he was a great guy, we all really liked him. We had fun…but he turned out to be an asshole…I was having dinner with him one night, when he came onto me." I stop for a moment, I can do this. Just like Yuki told me of his past, I can tell him mine. "When I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship, he turned nasty…I tried to fight him off, but I was too weak. He raped me."

I turn my face away, I can't look at Yuki. His hand touches my shoulder in a light caress.

"When he was finished, he stood over me, taunting me. Telling me how good I was, and how he was going to take me again…it's all a bit hazy, I don't know what I was thinking. But I snapped. I jumped up, and grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a marble statue of a horse…he liked statues, he liked horses." I say stupidly, taking a quick look at Yuki.

He smiles softly, letting me know he's listening. After one more deep breath, I say.

"I killed him."

I look back at him, and he has tears in his eyes. Great, now I've started crying. He pulls me into a hug, and I cry on his shoulder.

I can't tell you how good it is to have his arms around me once again. After a good cry, I continue, my head pressed against his chest.

"I hit him over the head, but I didn't stop. I guess I wouldn't have stopped if Tohma hadn't found me. He sorted it all out. That's why I'm so close to him. He became my anchor, he kept me afloat. I guess I would killed myself if he wouldn't have been there."

"I'm so sorry Shuichi, I wish I would have been here for you-"

I cut him off.

"Yuki, don't. I understand why you left. I've felt like it myself many times. I think maybe going back to America might help me…help me with what, I don't know. But I think it's something I have to do."

His arms tighten around.

"I love you." He whispers into my ear.

"I love you too."

"Do you mean it?" He asks.

"Of course, silly."

After hugging some more, I stand up and hold out my hand. He takes it and we walk back to the limo.

"Do you want to come back to mine or-"

"Yes, I want to come back to yours." He interrupts.

* * *

Well, that's it for now. Chapter 8 will be up soon, as I want to get this story out of the way to make way for my other ideas. Please review to let me know what you think. Thanks for taking the time to read.


	8. Chapter 8

I know I've just put up chapter 7, but I've finished this story, so I'm putting the remaining chapters up. So, then I will be able to concentrate on other ideas.

Hope you like the remaining chapters.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation**

**--**

**Chapter Eight**

**Yuki (POV)**

When Shuichi picked me up, I once again felt like a school kid going on his first date. I think I changed my clothes three times, and finally decided to wear the first outfit I tried on. I then paced the room, smoking cigarette after cigarette.

I had never felt this embarrassed before, I think I was worried that I was going to screw it up. I had waited six years for this, and now I was finally going on a date with him, it didn't feel real. When the doorbell rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

I opened the door, and he smiled slightly. I wish I could see him smile for real. One of his old smiles, the ones that lit up his eyes. He looked good, wearing black jeans and a dark blue shirt. When we were sat in the limo, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

Having dinner with Shuichi was really nice, the restaurant was romantic, and Shuichi gave me a real smile, a smile that gave me hope. A smile I had been longing to see since I came back. We enjoyed each others company, talking about little things.

It was nice, we had never had a proper conversation before. The old Shuichi was always too hyper, and he tended to ramble on, talking about nonsense and most of the time I used to tune him out, but this time I actually listened to him. I actually laughed, which probably surprised him, I don't think he's ever heard me laugh before. I just wish I could hear his laugh again, the cute way he used to giggle.

After Dinner we got back into the limo, Shuichi didn't give the driver directions, I guess he spoke with him before he picked me up. The car pulled over and we got out at the park, we walked along in comfortable silence. It was a nice warm night, the stars shining brightly in the sky. When we were sitting on a bench, I watched Shuichi closely, he looked agitated.

When he passed me the photograph, it was like da ja vu. Instead of me showing him a picture, it was now his turn. I felt my heart break, in the picture Shuichi still had pink hair and his smile could rival a light bulb, his eyes sparkling brightly. I wondered who the man behind them was. He looked a little older than Shuichi. He had black hair and green eyes. As I continued to look, I noticed a look in his eyes, a look I was all too familiar with. I had a bad feeling whatever Shuichi was about to tell me was going to something bad.

When Shuichi started speaking, I listened carefully, even though he was finally telling me what had happened to him, I wasn't sure I wanted to know, but I knew I could not walk away, I had to listen for his sake.**  
**

It was a little overwhelming that he was actually trusting me with his secret. Truthfully, I never thought Shuichi was capable of killing someone, but then again, neither was I, not until I was pushed into a corner, I guess anyone would do anything they could to protect themselves. At one point as he was talking, he held his out his hands, palms up, looking down at them as if he could still see the blood.

I hope things will get better for him, I know I felt relieved sharing my big secret with someone, but I ran away after, I really hope he doesn't do that. When I hugged him, I let him cry.

When he had calmed down, I looked into his face, and it did look like a weight had been lifted from him. I just have to hope he doesn't do what I did when I shared my secret. I hope he's stronger than me.

--

When the limo drops us off at Shuichi's place, the driver tells me he will pick me up in the morning, thanking the man, we get out and enter the building. As soon as we enter Shuichi's apartment, he turns to me, and kisses me.

My arms automatically encircle his waist. I moan into his mouth, the taste familiar, but also different. I've missed him so much. We start walking, without breaking the kiss. Shuichi steers me into his bedroom, and kicks the door open. Even though I want him more than anything, and I know I probably won't be able to stop, I vaguely wondered if this was a good idea.

But I couldn't stop, just having his body close to mine was sending shockwaves through my entire body.

We fall unceremoniously upon the bed. Our kiss becoming more demanding, like we're trying to eat each other. Our tongues meeting, and beginning an erotic dance. My pants are so tight, I'm surprised they haven't split. The six years without sex has definitely caught up with me, and it's turning me into a rampaging wolf, - wanting to tear Shuichi's clothes from his body - eager to mate.

Pinning Shuichi to the bed, I straddled his waist. I rip my shirt from my needy body, flinging the ruined material to the floor. Shuichi's small hands undo my pants, one hand slipping in to grab my cock. I fling my head back, groaning loudly.

I feel his free hand on my chest, pushing me softly, I comply and lay back on the bed. He removes his hand, after releasing my cock from my pants, I moan as his tongue licks the head of my cock. I can barely contain myself as he takes me into his mouth. I grip the sheets tightly as he deep throats me.

His head bobs up and down, sucking me faster, his tongue teasing me. My orgasm blows through me and call out his name. He milks me dry, as soon as he pulls away, I grab the back of his neck and bring his head down, kissing him, tasting myself in his warm, wet cavern.

Pushing him away, I motion him to lie down, he complies without question.

Getting off the bed, I strip my pants and boxers off in one go. I stop Shuichi from taking his clothes off, I want to do it for him. I yank his pants and boxers off, and lick my lips at the sight. I once again straddle his hip, and work on his shirt.

I gaze hungrily at Shuichi naked beneath me, he has definitely lost weight, but his chest is more toned, he's lost his girly figure. Shuichi moves slightly, I watch him as he puts his hand under his pillow, and pulls out a bottle of lubrication. He sets it beside me.

I lean over and press my lips against his, my tongue running along his bottom lip. He opens his mouth and his tongue meets mine. I move my body, so I'm laying on top of him, he automatically opens his legs, allowing me to settle between them. Our erections tangling together, I grind my hips against his. We both moan at the sensation.

Breaking the kiss, I move my lips down the side of his face to his neck. Kissing and nibbling his soft, sensitive skin. His gasps and moans are so familiar, my cock begins to throb. Picking up the tube, I flick the lid off and apply some of the liquid to my fingers.

Kneeling back, I lift Shuichi's hips with one hand and slip a lube coated finger into him. His muscles clamping around my finger for a moment before he relaxes. His moaning grows louder as I add a second and a third finger, stretching him. With a twist of my fingers, I find that sweet spot, he cries out, as I thrust over it again and again.

His muscles once again tighten and he arches his back off the bed. He orgasms, spraying his cum onto his stomach. I smirk as he opens his eyes. Bending down, I lick his cock, feeling it stir back to life. I keep licking and nibbling until he's once again hard.

Laying back down in between his legs, I hold on to his hips and with a flex of my hips, I bury myself into him. He screams, arching his back off the bed. I gaze down at his sweat soaked body glistening in the light. He takes a few deep breaths as he relaxes. He wiggles his hips, to let me know he's ready.

Pulling out slowly, until only the head is in him, I slam back in. I groan at his tight heat surrounds me. I know I'm not going to last long. I pound into him with everything I have, the room filled with the sounds of flesh on flesh, the bed creaking and his yells as I take him.

All to soon his muscles clamp around me, making it difficult for me to move, he comes first, spraying us both in warm cum. With one last jab, I fling my head back, and release myself.

Pulling out of him, I collapse beside him, my limbs feeling like jelly. He turns on his side, his arm circling my waist. Pulling him close, I close my eyes.

--

Waking up with a groan, I turn over onto my back and stretch, yawning. Opening my eyes, I smile as I remember last night. Looking beside me I find I'm alone in bed. I don't know why, maybe it was instinct, but I'm panicking. Getting out of bed, I slip my pants on and step out into the front room.

A note of the table stops me as I walk towards the kitchen. I pick it up, take a deep breath and read it.

_Yuki_

_Thanks for last night, it was the first time in six years that I felt like I belonged. I'm sorry I couldn't stay, but I have to do this. I don't know if I'm coming back, the guilt that has been growing inside of me for three years is too overwhelming, it feels like I'm being eaten from the inside._

_I didn't have the guts to leave last night, like you left me. I'm sorry to bring that up, but you've been there, you understand what I'm going through. _

_Remember I'll always love you. Be happy._

_Shu_

_P.S Please give Tohma the package I left on the table._

I let the note fall to the ground, my eyes watering as I look at the package on the table. Looking at my watch, I quickly return to the bedroom and borrow one of Shuichi's shirts, I remember ripping mine last night.

With the package in hand, I head down to meet Tohma's limo driver.

--

Ten minutes later I was in Tohma's office, he hadn't arrived at work yet, so I called him. He assured me he would be here soon. I hate having to wait, I'm more than curious as to what's in this package, I want Tohma to hurry up so he can find Shuichi. He is the only one after all who can seem to find anyone.

When he finally sauntered into the room ten minutes later, I was nearly ready to throw him out of the window. He sat on his chair and looked at me wearily, like he knew what I was about to say.

"Shuichi's gone." I say, placing the package on his desk.

"Fuck" I raise my eyebrows, he has never sworn before, he picks up the package and opens it.

Tohma slipped his hand into the package and withdrew a CD and a letter. He read the letter, his eyes widening. He picked up the phone and called K to his office. He then stood up and put the CD into the stereo.

Melancholic music floated through the room, and Shuichi's voice started singing. His voice raising goosebumps upon my arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Well here's chapte nine. The song was written by my sister. So thanks Sis. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.**

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**Chapter Nine**

**Tohma (POV)**

When Eiri called me telling me he had to see me urgently and he was waiting for me at my office, I knew straight away that it would be about Shuichi. I rushed to my office and sat down behind my desk. Eiri looked terrible, he was pale and his body was shaking slightly. I knew that Shuichi had gone.

I rarely swear, but it was the only word I could think of. I opened the package and took out the CD and the letter. I read the letter in silence.

_Tohma_

_I knew I would take the cowards way out. I think deep down you knew too. I tried so hard to get on with my life, but it grew more difficult each day. Even though Yuki's back, wanting to be back in my life, I finally had everything I wanted. But it's too overwhelming._

_I hate to leave everyone, but I can't take the guilt anymore. It's suffocating me. I have to go back to America, I know I won't be coming back._

_I hope you like the CD I made for you, I thought about what gift I could get you. Something that would tell you how grateful I am that you were beside me when I needed you. But nothing would have been good enough, so I wrote you a song. _

_I'll always love you for everything you did for me, you saved me over and over, but now it's time for me take control. _

_Don't come after me. Be happy._

_Love Shu_

With shaking hands, I stood up and walked over to the stereo putting the CD in, the music was enough to fill my eyes with tears.

(Song by Takahashi Ran of 3 Second Exposure - My younger sister)

"_Thank you for saving me from myself,_

_You've always been there when I need help._

_Almost got lost in the darkness, _

_Don't know what I would have done._

_You saved my life,_

_So thank you._

_I was so low,_

_I almost didn't make it,_

_I would have taken my life that day, _

_But you came and showed me the way."_

I close my eyes and let the tears flow down my cheeks. Each line had meaning to it, this was his way of thanking me, and saying goodbye.

"_Whenever I fall,_

_You pick me up and brush me off,_

_You've taken care of me,_

_And I finally see._

_You're my best friend,_

_I would have died without you, _

_And I just want to say..._

_Thank you for saving me from myself,_

_You've always been there when I need help._

_Almost got lost in the darkness, _

_Don't know what I would have done._

_You saved my life,_

_So thank you."_

The song was so beautiful, the emotion in Shuichi's voice was overwhelming. I vaguely heard the door open and close. I didn't bother opening my eyes, knowing it was K. Also I didn't bother to wipe my eyes, truthfully, I didn't care if the two men saw me cry. Who would have thought that I would cry over Shuichi, if this would have happened six years ago, I would have probably laughed, but now Shuichi's means a lot to me, he's like the little brother I never had.

"_After a long while,_

_You got me my life back,_

_And now I'm back on track, yeah._

_I love you, my friend,_

_And I will till the end,_

_Cos you gave me strength,_

_Yeah, you help me mend._

_Thank you for saving me from myself,_

_You've always been there when I need help._

_Almost got lost in the darkness, _

_Don't know what I would have done._

_You saved my life,_

_So thank you."_

When the song finished, I turned off the stereo and wiped my eyes. Sitting back down, I faced K, and told him the situation. He immediately put on his game face, which was good, was K was in this mode, he was serious and ready for anything.. Picking up the phone, I called Kei, my pilot, asking him to get my private jet ready.

I know Shuichi asked me not to come after him, but did he really think I would let him do this. Maybe deep down, he does want me to save him, well I hope he does. When we get to him, I will not let him do anything stupid. I can't let him go, I don't think Eiri would forgive me if I didn't do anything.

Standing up, I slip my coat on, reposition my hat and stride towards the door.

"Come on, we have to leave."

The three of us step into the elevator and I tap my fingers against my arm, I never really noticed before how long the elevator takes to descend.

--

When we arrive at the airport, we step onto the jet without difficulties and were in the air within ten minutes. I really hope we're not too late. I called the airport in the limo, and Shuichi was on a flight to America that left two hours ago, so we're not that far behind.

But what if he does something stupid before we arrive. At least I know where he will go. Looking at K, he face looks grim, but he's keeping himself occupied by cleaning his gun. Eiri on the other hand looks like a wreck, he has his head in his hands, and his shoulders are shaking slightly.

I myself feel just as bad, I keep wondering if I could have done something more. I keep cursing myself, knowing I should have seen this coming. He did after all say he wanted to go back to America, and deep down I knew he wouldn't have told me.

I've guessed Shuichi told Eiri about what happened to him, that's probably why he left. As the jet flies towards America, I pray to Kami-sama that we get there on time, I pray that we're not too late.

--

As soon as the jet landed, we got off and rushed to the car that I hired. It was conveniently parked near the jet. Once we were all in, I started the engine and sped away from the airport. It was about a 20 minute drive.

"So, are you going to tell me why were here? Why were going after Shuichi?" K asks.

I look at Eiri, and he shrugs. I guess we have to tell him. He is after all willing to help, even though it's not my place to tell him, like I wouldn't tell Eiri. But I know K wont tell.

So I tell him.

Surprisingly K didn't react, he actually surprised me by telling me he knew something like that had happened. He knew when I told him Quinn had gone missing, and by the way the man was always looking at Shuichi.

Now that he knew he seemed to become even more serious. I press my foot down on the accelerator, wanting to get there faster.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten **

**Shuichi (POV)**

Last night with Yuki was amazing, the date we went on was something we had never done before. I felt like we were a proper couple. When we were in the park, I didn't want to spoil it, but I knew I had to tell him, I had to get it of my chest.

His reaction was more than I could have hoped for, he was comforting. He never used to be like that. It did feel like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders after I had told him, but the guilt was still there, I guess I was hoping for too much when I thought it would have lessened.

I know it will never go away, I will have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life. After bawling into his shirt, we left the park and returned to my apartment.

Spending the night with him again was something I had missed more than anything. When I was sleeping around, it was nothing compared to being with Yuki. When I was with others, it was just about the sex.

But with Yuki, it was more than that, it was being intimate with the one I love. But when I woke up this morning, I knew I still had to go.

While I was dressing, I kept looking at Yuki, still sleeping. It almost got too much, I guess I wanted him to wake up, to talk me out of it. But because he didn't, I took it as a sign that I was supposed to go.

When I was dressed, I put the package for Tohma on the table and lay Yuki's note next to it. Grabbing my ticket, wallet and jacket, I took one last look at the man I loved, then I left.

--

As I sat on the plane, my mind whirled with too many emotions. It's been a long time that I had felt all these emotions. I had learnt to keep them hidden, but now there were pushing against my barrier and fighting for dominance inside me.

I expect it's because I'm on the way to the place I never thought I would have the guts to return too. My heart felt like it was in my throat. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I got there. I know I can't got to Quinn's old apartment, I expect they're will be people living there.

Hopefully, just looking at the outside will be enough. I hope it will be anyway. If not then I know what I will doing, and it's something I don't really want to do. I don't want to put my family and friends through it.

As soon as I arrived at the airport, I by-passed all the crap and left the building. I flagged down a cab and gave the driver my destination. Looking at my watch, I estimate Tohma will be about two, maybe three hours behind me.

Even though I told him not to come after me, I know he will. So will Yuki. I guess I'm kind of counting on them to save me. maybe that's an indication that I don't really want to kill myself. But I know I have to see that place again. for my peace of mind, at least.

When the cab parked, I paid the man and got out. my heart was thundering against my chest as I looked at the block of apartments. Quinn's apartment was the tops one. It looked like whoever loved there was home because the lights were on.

I don't actually know what to do now. I knew I wouldn't be able to go into the apartment, unless I wanted to resort to breaking and entering. Looking across the street, there was an identical apartment building exactly opposite.

Walking to the side of the building, there was a fire escape, so I climbed it. It was a bit rickety, but I continued until I was to the top. I stepped onto the roof, and walked to the edge. If the curtains were open, I would have been able to see the front room.

Settling on the edge, I sit down with my legs dangling over the edge. Once again, I had no idea what I was going to do, or what I wanted to do. Looking down, I debated on whether I had the guts to just jump, I was high enough that I would die on impact. But was that what I really wanted, I wasn't so sure anymore.

Slipping the photograph out of my wallet, I look down at it. I looked so happy then, so naïve. I didn't think anything could hurt me. A lot of thoughts ran through my mind when it happened. I wondered if it would have been able to stop him if I was stronger.

A tear falls from my eye and splashes against my happy, smiling face. I wonder if I'll ever be that happy again. I doubt it very much, Yuki was happy before he killed and look at him now. He is after all a first rate cold-hearted bastard.

But when we went on our date, he did seem more relaxed and the man did laugh. Maybe I will get my laughter back too. But I know it will take a long time, the question is, am I willing to wait that long? That's the answer that I need to find.

--

Looking round, I realise I must have spaced out. I've been sitting here for nearly two hours. I have no idea as to what I was thinking about, probably nothing. Taking out a cigarette, I light it. A tinge of pain from my stomach reminds me I haven't taken my medication, and like a baka I left it at home.

I know Tohma should be here soon, and I have to figure out what I need to do. Do I really want to throw myself off this building and end my life, or do I want to continue living…well trying to live. I think about my parents, my little sister. Hiro, the band, Tohma and Yuki. I smile, I guess I've made up my mind. I can't leave everyone, if I knew none of them loved me then I would happily throw myself to my death, but I can't leave anyone behind to grieve for me.

Sometime I wish Quinn's body had been found, so I could visit his grave, maybe get some closure or some bullshit like that. But I haven't heard anything about his body being found. Maybe I should ask Tohma, if anyone knows, it would be him. But wouldn't he have told me? I guess not, if he was trying to protect me.

Looking at the photograph still in my hands, I rip it into little pieces, letting the pieces fall from my hand. Just like Yuki did, but instead of water, mine fly through the air and land on the road. As I follow one piece, a man stoops down to pick it up.

I look closely and realise it's Tohma. He looks up and we look at each other. A moment later Yuki and K also look up. I guess it's time to go, but I don't feel ready. I watch as Yuki walks towards the side of the building and I wait, knowing he's using the fire escape.

I don't look at Yuki as he sits beside me.

"So, are you going jump?" He asks me.

"Actually…no I'm not."

Yuki looks at me like he doesn't believe me.

"Well, why are you up here?"

"I don't know, I had to come." I point at the building opposite. "That's where it happened."

Yuki remains silent for a moment.

"When I left you six years ago, I went to the place where it happened. I had a gun and I nearly put it to my head and pulled the trigger."

I look at him in shock. A tear fall from my eye, wondering what stopped him. Knowing that if he decided to pull the trigger, he wouldn't be here, sitting next to me.

"What stopped you?"

He sighs, then he turns to look at me. "You did."

"If I stopped you, why didn't you come back?" I ask, cursing myself as my voice cracks. I look away as the tears begin to fall.

"I don't know, I guess I was afraid. But every day was a struggle without you. I missed you so much."

For some reason I was getting angry.

"You can't have missed me that much, because you would have come back." I snapped at him, as I got to my feet and walked away.

As soon as I got to the bottom of the fire escape, I walked over to Tohma. He knew exactly what I wanted. He took me into his arms, and hugged me.

I know I'm being mean to Yuki, but I can't help it. I just need to calm down.

"Are you ready to go now?" Tohma asks.

"I don't know, it feels like I have something else to do." I answer.

Tohma sighs. "Do you want to visit his grave?"

I pull back, my eyes wide.

He looks me in the eyes. "His body was found not long after we returned to Japan. The case is closed, because it looked like a suicide. So if you want to see his grave, you can."

I just nod. I think it's the one last thing I have to do before I can go home.

--

Sitting in the back of the car with Yuki, I feel like an asshole. I shouldn't have snapped at him. I did after leave him, even though it wasn't for six years. I don't blame and I do forgive him. And I want him back in my life. I look at him to find him watching me.

Moving closer to him, his eyes widen, but his arm circles my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I whisper, snuggling against his chest.

His arm tightens around me. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I know I should have returned, but it was hard. I will make you a promise though, I will never leave you again."

I tip my head up to look at him. Our eyes meet and at the same time, our lips meet for a chaste kiss. Snuggling against him, I sigh. I know it will be hard, but maybe we can work it out.

"Here we are." Tohma says.

I find my heart thumping in my chest as I follow Tohma over to Quinn's headstone. It's just a simple one with his name and he died. I kneel down and wait until I'm alone. I don't know what to do now.

Taking a deep breath. "So…" Don't know why I'm talking to a headstone, but I guess I have too, it's not like I can speak to him in person. "I hope you realise how much I hate you. I'm sorry I killed you, but I'm not sorry your gone."

I take a shuddering breath and let the tears fall.

"Sometimes, I wish I could talk to you, ask you why you did that to me. Was it really worth it? You were supposed to be my friend and you betrayed me. I hate you."

Wrapping my hands around my shoulders, I continue to cry. I hear someone walking towards me and I hope it's Yuki. Arms go around, it is Yuki. I can tell by his scent. I lean back against him, and cry.

I don't know how long we stayed like this for, but I ran out of tears and my eyes were sore and puffy. Taking a deep breath.

"I'm ready to go home now." I say softly.

Yuki gets to his feet, and holds out his hand. Taking it, he pulls me to my feet and we start walking towards the car. I stop and take one last look, then continue walking.

--

An hour later as were in Tohma's jet, I did feel as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I know I didn't feel better, but it was a start. I look down at Yuki's and my hands intertwined together in his lap.

As long as I have him and my friends, I should be all right. Well…I hope I'll be all right. Looking out the window, I say a silent goodbye as the jet flies through the air. I now know that if we have a tour in America in the future, I will be able to go without feeling like I want to kill myself.

I guess I've made peace with what happened, and not all I have to do it look forward to the future. It sounds easy, doesn't it?


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.**

**--**

**Chapter Eleven **

**Yuki (POV)**

We arrived at our destination, and I looked around, hoping to see Shuichi still here. The breeze blew through my hair, and a bit of paper landed at Tohma's feet. He picked it up and looked up. I followed his line of vision, and my eyes landed on Shuichi.

Seeing him sat on the edge of the building, I had never felt so scared in my life. I really thought he was going jump. I flashed back to New York when I held the gun in my hand, and how close I was pulling the trigger. How close I was to taking my life. It was like I was reliving my past, except now it was Shuichi in my place, and it made me more afraid than I have ever been.

My eyes met Tohma's, and he stood motionless with fear in his eyes. For once it looked like he didn't know what to do. I didn't either, I was torn about staying or going up there, but what if I moved makes him jump.

I only took a moment to decide but I made up my mind that I should go up there and try and talk to him, I just prayed he didn't jump. So I climbed the fire escape as quick as I can and stepped on to the roof. I was so relieved that he was still sitting on the edge as I walked towards him, so I sat beside him.

I was more than relieved when he told me he wasn't going to jump. My heart calmed and started beating at it's normal rate. I thought sharing what happened to me in New York would help, but it just made him angry. When he walked away from me, I thought I had lost him.

As I climbed down the fire escape, I cursed myself at my stupidity. I had to fight the jealousy as I saw him in Tohma's arms. If I hadn't opened my mouth, it would be my arms he would be in.

But when we were in the back seat of the car and he apologised to me, I felt hope. He let me put my arm around his shoulders and he snuggled against me, I felt the tension release from my body, at having his comforting heat beside me. I met Tohma's eyes in the mirror and he smiled at me.

I knew Shuichi had one more obstacle he had to overcome, before he would be ready to return home. I just hoped he would want to return home. I guess I'll always feel guilty for staying away for so long. I also can't help wondering if I hadn't left, would he have gone through what he did.

I think that question will stay with me for a long time, I don't think the guilt will go away anytime soon.

When we arrived at the cemetery, we left Shuichi alone, I could see his lips moving, so I know he was talking to the gravestone. I watched him as he bowed his head and his shoulders began to shake. He wrapped his arms around himself and I could hear him sobbing from where we were standing.

Tohma put his hand on my arm as I moved forwards. I stopped for a moment, before shrugging his hand off and making my way towards Shuichi, I just hoped I was making the right decision by going over to him.

I knew if Shuichi would have come after me in New York, I would have wanted his comfort. But knowing me, I would have pushed him away. I just hoped he would want mine, and he wont push me away.

When I knelt on the ground behind him, I cautiously put my arms around him, I was more than relived that he leaned into me. We knelt on the ground for quite a while until he finished crying. I had never been any good at comforting him when he used to cry, but I knew now all I had to do was be here for him.

"I'm ready to go home now." He says softly.

I get to my feet and hold out my hand, he takes it and I pull him to his feet. Before we got into the car, he took one last look back. Looking at me, his face full of determination, he nods and we continue walking.

As we were flying towards Japan, we held hands. It gave me hope that maybe we would be all right. I know it would be hard. It has been twelve years since the incident in New York and I still wasn't over it.

But Shuichi is a lot stronger than me, I know he wont ever get over it, but it will get easier. I know I'll be all right as long as he's by my side.

--

We arrived back in Japan about 10am and we collapsed into Tohma's limo. It had been a tiring flight and we were all tired. I hadn't been able to sleep, I had been keeping an eye on Shuichi. Even though he looked all right, I was still worried about him. You can't exactly just get over thinking about killing yourself.

He wanted to be dropped of at his apartment, truthfully I wanted to stay with him, but he kissed me, thanked Tohma and K and got out of the car. I guess Tohma and K were thinking the same thing as me because we kept looking at the building.

But Tohma just sighed and instructed his driver to continue.

Once I arrived at my apartment, I couldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't shut down, I was plagued with images of Shuichi committing suicide. Most of the images consisted of him slitting his wrists, everytime I closed my eyes, I could see his body laying on his bathroom floor, surrounded by his blood. I don't know how I'm supposed to remain relaxed with him on my mind all the time.

As I'm about to put my shoes on, determined to drive over to see him the doorbell rings. I open it to find Shuichi standing there. He smiles at me. My shoulders slump as the tension drains out of me, I immediately move aside to let him in.

"Sorry…I didn't want to be alone." He says, looking at me with pleading eyes.

It's been a while since I've seen those eyes. With my heart in my throat, I hold out my arms and he falls into my embrace. He yawns, which makes me chuckle softly.

"Come on, lets get some sleep." I lead him to the bedroom and get him settled.

As I'm about to leave the bedroom, deciding that I should maybe sleep on the couch, he takes hold of my wrist.

"Please stay."

Smiling, I lay beside him, and let him cuddle against me. Now that I know he's safe, my mind and body relaxes and I fall asleep.

--

When I woke up, it was dark and I was alone in bed. Da ja vu hit me hard and my heart skipped a beat, I was hoping Shuichi hadn't once again left me, I got out of bed and as soon as I opened the bedroom door, the smell of food enveloped me, I followed the smell of cooking to the kitchen. My stomach growled at me, a reminder that I hadn't eaten anything for a while.

I stopped in the doorway to the kitchen and watched as Shuichi cooked. It was a little weird watching him cook, but it made a nice change, not having to watch over him making sure he didn't cut himself, or worse, burn the kitchen down. I smile at a few memories, I guess I do miss those times.

Shuichi suddenly looked around and smiled slightly. He poured a cup of coffee and handed it to me.

"Dinner will be ready soon." He said, going back to cooking.

After taking a sip of coffee, I put the cup on the table and begin laying the table.

When Shuichi had finished cooking, he dished the food on to plates and we sat down together and ate in comfortable silence. I vaguely wondered where he got the food because the last time I looked I didn't have any. All that was stocked in my fridge was beer.

After eating, we washed and dried the plates. As I was walking into the front room, I felt Shuichi's arms encircle my waist from behind. Turning round, I looked down at him. Even though he didn't smile, his eyes sparkled. His lips on mine saved me from drowning in his eyes.

I guess going back to bed wouldn't be too bad. I picked him up and returned to the bedroom, laying him on the bed, as I lay beside him, he was looking at me with his pleading eyes again. It felt like I swallowed my heart, I had a feeling that what he wanted was something I'm not sure I'm ready for, but I guess I could try.

I just nod my head, and his face lights up. Laying on my back, he gets to his knees and straddles my waist. He leans down and kisses me softly, I open my mouth allowing his tongue to slip in and meet mine, his hands unbuttoning my shirt.

My hearts still thumping rapidly, but it's slowing down bit by bit. Shuichi's not being rough, he's taking it slow. At least I know if I ask him to stop, he will.

Moving his lips from my mouth, his kisses his way to my ear for a quick nibble before moving onto my chest. I moan as he takes my left nipple into his mouth, and tweak my right one with his fingers.

He then worked on my pants and slipped them down my legs, along with my boxers. Sitting up, I quickly get rid of my shirt. Shuichi stands by the bed and undresses himself, he looks so sexy. When he's naked, he walks to the end of the bed, and kneels at the bottom.

I watch as he moves his mouth to my ankle, his tongue tracing the bone. I never thought I'd get turned on just by having him lick my anklebone. He moves up my leg, his tongue never leaving as he makes his way up to my thigh.

I part my legs for him and groan as he nibbles on the soft flesh of my thigh. I close my eyes as he licks my cock. I don't know how much of this I can take, I want to touch him more than anything.

I moan out loud as he takes me into his mouth. My eyes open wide as I feel a lube coated finger slip into ass. Clutching the sheets tightly, I try to relax. Surprisingly it didn't take me long to get used to the sensation.

Before I know it, he's slipped a second and third finger into me. With a twist of his fingers, he brushes over my prostate and finger works explode before my eyes and I orgasm with a shout. Shuichi milks me dry. When he pulls back, I'm just opening my eyes, my limbs feel jellified. I watch him as he coats his cock with lubrication, and lowers himself between my legs.

Holding onto my hips, he looks at me and I nod my consent. Once again I hold onto the sheets as he slips inside me. It hurts like fuck, but it's a pleasurable pain. I feel him hit the end, and he pauses to allow me to get used to it.

"I'm ready." I say, in a voice that does not sound like my own.

He takes me at my word and pulls out till only the tip is still inside me, then slams back inside, ripping a scream from me. When I don't tell him to stop, he moves at a fast pace. He pauses for a moment, and with a twist of his hips he hits my prostate over and over again.

I've never felt anything like this, it's beyond pleasurable. His hand takes my neglected cock and pumps me in time with his hips. I feel my orgasm flow through my body, my muscles clamp around Shuichi as I cum.

Shuichi groans as he releases himself. We fall in a sweaty heap, laying beside each other. I turn on my side to see him looking at me. He looks worried, I guess I can't blame him. He's probably worried that I'll throw him out for letting him do something that I would have never let him do a few years ago.

To ease his fears, I pull him against my body, feeling him relax. I feel my own body relax as I fall asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.**

**--**

**Chapter Twelve **

**Shuichi (POV)**

Waking up next to Yuki is something I never thought I would do again, and I've missed it so much. Just laying next to him while he's sleeping makes me feel warm inside. I can't believe he trusted me enough to make love to him last night, it made me fall in love with him all over again.

Though I did feel a little uneasy that he was going to kick me out after. the old Yuki would never have allowed me to top him.

Flipping over on to my back, I sigh. Today's the day that I tell Hiro. I can't keep putting it off anymore. I hope he doesn't hate me. I guess this will tell me whether we will remain friends, I'll understand if he wont be able to stand being around me, but I hope that wont be the case, I need Hiro in my life. He is after all my best friend.

Looking back at Yuki, I smile. He looks so peaceful, his blonde hair fanned out on the pillow, looking like a halo. Well…I can't lay in bed all day.

As I'm getting out of bed, Yuki's hand grabs my wrist and pulls me back towards him. Before I know it, he has me pinned to the bed, his body covering mine.

"Your not going anywhere, not until I say so." He says, smiling down at, his hand creeping down my body to cup my growing erection.

I guess he wants to get his own back, and I'm about to be pounded into the mattress. Not that I mind. Yuki lips descend onto mine and I let him take control. I know he wants to take back his role as the dominant one, which is fine with me.

--

After showering and getting dressed. I take my medication under Yuki's watchful eye, I light a cigarette. He narrow his eyes at me.

"You should stop smoking." He says.

I raise my eyebrow at him. "I'll give up when you do." I smirk.

He glares at me as he lights his own cigarette, but I have a feeling we will both be giving up soon. Not that I think Yuki can give up. But if he tries, so will I. I know I shouldn't be smoking because it will eventually ruin my voice.

Sighing, I walk over to the window and look down. It's time to talk to Hiro, but I'm scared. Yuki's arms encircle my waist and rests his head against my shoulder.

"What are you thinking about brat?"

I close my eyes for a second, I actually missed him calling me brat.

"I have to talk to Hiro."

His body stiffens slightly.

"Yeah, about that."

"Okay, I'll drive you."

I just nod and listen as he gets ready, I guess there's not much point in putting it off any longer. Walking away from the window, I put out my cigarette and slip on my shoes and follow Yuki out the front door. We walk down to his car in silence.

As he drives, shooting pains pierce my stomach. I guess I'm more than a little stressed. But why? Hiro's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, he's never given me a reason to doubt our friendship.

I'm also wondering whether to tell Fujisaki. We're not exactly best friends, but we are close. Nah…Hiro first, then I'll think about it.

When Yuki pulls up outside NG, I remain sitting for a moment. It's now or never, taking a deep breath, I get out of the car and follow Yuki into the building, we ride up in the elevator together. Yuki kisses me as the doors open.

"I'll be in Tohma's office when your finished."

"Thanks." I smile and step out of the elevator, and walk towards Bad Lucks studio.

When I opened the door, Hiro looked up from tuning his guitar and Fujisaki took off his earphones.

"Tohma said you weren't coming in today." Fujisaki says.

"I'm not…Hiro, I need to talk to you…"

Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. With Yuki, it was easy because he had already experienced it, but Hiro. Well…I can't chicken out now.

Hiro nods his head and follows me out the room and into an empty office. He sits on a chair, while I stand by the window.

"Shu, what's wrong?" I can tell he's worried.

"I think it's time I told what happened in America. What happened the night Quinn disappeared."

Hiro doesn't say anything, he just nods his head to let me know he's listening.

Starting from the beginning, I tell him everything. From the night it happened to the other day when I went back to America. I didn't tell him that I was thinking about killing myself, I think one thing is enough for now, and this is a big revelation.

When I'm finished, Hiro remains silent for a few moments, he then gets to his feet. I'm more than worried that he's going to leave the room, and not ever talk to me again, but he walks towards me and pulls me into his arms.

Not the reaction I was expecting, but I like it better than the ones I was thinking about. I lean into my best friends embrace, his hugs are the best.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I don't blame you for not telling me until now. You will always be my best friend and no matter what you do will make me hate you. I love you so much Shu."

As he says this the dam breaks and I sob into his shirt. He just holds me, letting me cry. A little more of the tension that has been residing in my body since the incident loosens and a little bit of the weight vanishes.

I don't know when the rest will go, but it's giving me more hope.

--

After a good cry, I sit down with Hiro and we talk for a while. He tells me a secret that he's been keeping from me. He's in love with Fujisaki, and from what he can tell the younger man likes Hiro.

It's nice to be talking about regular things again.

"Well…you should go for it, what have you got to lose? This experience has taught me that human life is precious, you never know when it will end, you just have to life to it's fullest and be happy."

I laugh, I sound like an old man.

Looking at my watch, I sigh.

"I better go, Yuki will get pissy otherwise."

We stand up and leave the room, walking back towards the studio.

"How are things going with Yuki?"

"Well…there different, but it's good. We've both changed, and I still love him more than anything."

We stop at the door, Hiro gives me one final hug, before he disappears inside. Taking my time, I wander through the corridors and up to Tohma's office. Knocking on the door, I enter when Tohma calls out.

They both look at me, both concerned. I guess my eyes are still red and puffy from crying. I smile and sit down next to Yuki.

"How did it go?" He asks.

"Good…better than good actually."

"I'm glad." Tohma says. "Now on to business, I was thinking about doing a compilation CD with Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck songs. What do you think? I've already talked to Hiro and Fujisaki and they said as long as it was all right with you, they would do it."

That sounds kinda cool.

"Sure, sounds good."

"Excellent, I also want your permission to add the song you wrote for me. And I want you and Ryuichi to sing a couple of songs together."

I smile, I love singing with Ryuichi. I just nod my head.

Tohma smiles and claps his hands. Yuki stands up and holds out his hand to me.

"Lets go brat."

Taking his hand, he pulls me to my feet, after saying good bye to Tohma, we leave.

--

The last couple of month, we were kept really busy. Ryuichi and I sang five songs each for the CD, and we had to write two songs together for our duets. It was fun and it kept my mind occupied.

Tohma has organised a joint tour for the end of the month which we're all looking forward to, it will help promote out CD.

Yuki and I are getting closer, he asked me to move back in with him. I said I would, but after we had finished the tour, Yuki of course is coming with us. He said he wanted to keep me company, but I knew it was the other way around, he never wants me out of his sight. It's nice having him worry about me for a change.

Everything seems to be getting back to normal, well as normal as it can get. And I'm getting happier. I have all my friends and Yuki standing beside me. I know in can do anything with their support.

Even though life's hard, you'll be all right in the end with the support and love of your friends and family. That's what I've learnt, anyway.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.**

**--**

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Tohma (POV)**

_Two Years Later_

I smile as I watch my daughter Sakura build sandcastles with Shuichi. I can't believe how time flies. I can't believe I have a daughter. I look around at everyone and they look like they're having fun, even Eiri's smiling.

Two years have passed, and it's getting easier. Shuichi seems to be happier than he was, even though I haven't heard him laugh, I miss his laugh. He's not completely over it, but he's getting on with his life, well Eiri is making sure he gets on with his life.

We released our compilation CD and it sold over 5 million in the first week. We then went on a tour of Japan, which we finished a couple of months ago. Now we're all on a vacation. Ryuichi wanted to come to Okuma beach in Okinawa, so I booked a vacation for all of us.

And I think it was a good idea, we definitely earned it and everyone seems to be enjoying it. I watch with a smile, trying to hold back a laugh as Sakura totters over to where Ryuichi is laying down, he knows she's coming, but he's keeping quiet, something I didn't think Ryuichi could do.

We all laugh as she dumps a bucket of water over his head. She screams and runs away as Ryuichi chases after her. My head snaps around as I hear a sound I haven't heard for a long time. Shuichi's laughing and it's not just any laughter, he's giggling.

I look at the others and there also looking at him, I find happy tears fill my eyes as he continues laughing. Suddenly Shuichi turns around and dumps water on Eiri. We all laugh as Eiri chases after Shuichi, tackling the younger man to the ground and kissing him right in front of everyone, another surprise.

I never thought I would see Shuichi having fun again, or Eiri for that matter.

Anyway as I was saying, it's been two years and things are getting back to normal. Hiro and Fujisaki have been dating for about a year and a half, it's nice to see my cousin happy. K…well K's K, he hasn't changed, except he's seemed to have acquired more guns.

Sakano is more or less the same, maybe a little less stressed, but I don't think he will ever change. Ryuichi is the same, he also will never change, he seems to have more or less adapted to Shuichi's new personality.

Mika is still as lovely as ever, we have never been happier. Having Sakura has brought us closer, she is our little ray of sunshine. She seems to have brought all of us closer. Tatsuha, well what can I say, he has definitely changed. He's grown up, and he's dating Ryuichi, so he couldn't be any happier.

And lastly Shuichi and Eiri are happier than I've ever seen them, I've never seen Eiri smile so much. Shuichi has finally moved back in with Eiri, something that has made me feel easier. I never liked Shuichi living alone, I was afraid he might do something stupid and no one would ever know. But now I an breathe easy because Eiri's there to look after him.

Also Eiri and Shuichi have given up smoking, that shocked all of us. I never thought Eiri would give up his cigarettes, but Shuichi said he would only give up if Eiri did, so that's what he did.

Eiri's personality has taken a dramatic change, he's still a little snappy, but he's a lot nicer to everyone. Shuichi can make anyone feel better. They're relationship has grown stronger, and I know Eiri has a surprise for Shuichi. I can't wait until that moment comes, I know he's planning on doing it in a bit.

So as you can see, we're all doing great, life's going great. Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper are still going strong. The last few years was like history was repeating itself, but now we all look to a bright future. A future where hopefully we all will have new beginnings.

**The End**

--

Well that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review to let me know what you thought.


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